Ninja and Pirate Biographies



Ninja: Although he boasts a complete mastery of the mysterious art known as ninjitsu, Ninja is, at heart, a timid and shy young man trying to make his own mark on the world and not let others, or more specifically himself, down. Though a self-proclaimed misanthrope with a short tempter, Ninja really just doesn’t want to be lonely anymore. He tends to get overly stressed about insignificant details, but is able to relax when he returns home to his roommate Pirate and girlfriend Val. Though he also lives with his greatest nemesis, the avian Dr. Whoo, Ninja figures that the good life can’t come completely without hardship and happily bears his responsibility of keeping the good doctor hidden from the apartment complex’s superintendent. His interests include ninjitsu, meditation, comics, and trading cards.


Pirate: Pirate H. Rodriguez may not be the fastest ship in the fleet, so to speak, but his large heart and optimistic attitude make up for the fact. A child of privilege, Pirate abandoned the family business to make his own destiny. Though some politely refer to him as an ‘eccentric free spirit’ and others blatantly call him ‘more useless than implants on a cactus’, Pirate enjoys life for what it is. He lives in the moment along with his pet owl Dr. Whoo and roommate Ninja. He enjoys whiskey, doubloons, movies, and challenging the hippopotami at the local zoo to hacky-sack competitions.


Val: Valkyrie Freya Wealthow may, at times, question her attraction to Ninja what with the twenty-sided die, ambivalent attitude, and constant rage over super-hero movie inaccuracies, but at the end of the day there is no one she’d rather share her life with. Though rather introverted, Val will have spouts of sporadic spontaneity that reveals the common bloodline shared with her cousin Pirate. She acts as a balance between the chaos of Ninja and Pirate’s everyday goings-on and often personifies the voice of reason. Stunningly beautiful and boasting a brilliant mind, she loves her boyfriend very much, even if he is an idiot who snickers whenever someone says ‘duty’.


Dr. Whoo: To Pirate, Dr. Whoo is anything but the average short-eared owl. The good doctor met his lifelong caretaker and companion when he was a young owlet sporting a broken wing trapped in a telephone booth in London. When Pirate wandered into the booth looking for the urinal, the two locked eyes and became instant friends. Pirate smuggled the owl back to the states where it took up residence in his apartment. Dr. Whoo and Pirate may share a sort of psychic link the way the two are able to understand each other, however it could also just be coincidence. Though Dr. Whoo and Ninja don’t always get along, the doctor somehow realizes the necessity of having a master of the shadow arts around because the superintendent, Mr. Skinflint, has a strict no-pet policy. Dr. Whoo enjoys field mice, vomiting, playing checkers with Pirate, and later consuming the checker pieces.