Snakes on a Drain
Today’s strip is based on a true story. Yesterday, I got a visit from a very confused garter snake. I know I’m not the manliest man but when I looked down and saw it slithering up out of my shower drain- whoo boy- I became a little girl for three seconds. After shrieking like a terrified and yet sailor-mouthed schoolgirl I calmed down and went to pick him up and toss him in the backyard. He saw this unspeakably pale and hideously flabby giant silhouetted against the sun reaching for him and understandably pooped his proverbial scaled loins, metaphorically of course, before slithering back down the drain, presumably to find his kin and speak to them of the terrors from above the sky. Basically I spent the rest of the shower balancing on the sides of the tub like and idiot and freaking out every time the reflected light on the metal of the drain made it look like a slithery black head was popping up from the world of plumbing terror.
As I was drawing this comic the writhing hellbeast came back for a rematch, probably because he was a drinker and the other snakes were like “Yeah right! Listen to this guy! Fat naked giant with legs, my extendable jaw!” and he responded with “I’ll go back! I’ll show them! I’ll show all of them!” Then he slammed down his beer and retreated from the snake bar to the place he swore was real. This time, I was able to best the mighty beast with my sinew and advanced mammalian brain.
By which I mean I heard my dear wife scream from the bathroom “JOE HE’SBACKHE’SBACKHE’SBACK!!!” And I ran in, grabbed the tiny terrified garter snake as he squirmed and flailed, told him I was sorry, and let him go in the backyard. That way he knows he’s not crazy and doesn’t have anything to prove to those copperheaded jerk.
However, when I retell the story in the future, I heroically swung in like Errol Gorram Flynn and filleted that sucker (who was a venom spitting anaconda beeteedubs) and also I am manly and women find me attractive to look at.
Before I go, I’m gonna try to post a picture my good pal Jesse from the comics Just For Kicks and Tank Monkey gave me for last Saturday’s comic. He provided an awesome 5th Panel Guest art now lemme see if I can figure out this new ComicEasel thing…
Alright let’s hope that worked. Neat isn’t it? Hopefully.
So I’m going to head out with most of my dignity intac-haHAhaHaHAHAhA! Whoo- dignity. Wow. Couldn’t finish that sentence with a straight face. Don’t forget to like our Facebook page if you liked this comic and follow me on Twitter if you so desire (@ninjaandpirate). If you enjoyed this specific comic and have a Reddit account, I would greatly appreciate an upvote. Reddit upvotes boost how many people see the comic usually by the hundreds and occasionally a thousand or so. So if you think I deserve it go to This Link and shower the posts with up arrows.
I’m going to bed folks! I’ll see you all later (metaphorically speaking of course).