Every Day I’m Tumbln
Most of Tumblr is actually a pretty okay place. But every so often you get to a post that starts off with “My personal pronouns are kit/kist/kikselfs and I’m a septuple gendered angel-kin with opinionated views and I hate all men!” For those of you who believe the evidence of your otherkin-ness comes from having ethereal wings, or muzzles, or shells, or tails- there’s a word that grown ups have for that too: ‘Imagination’.
I really shouldn’t be too hard on these kids though. I went through several phases as a kid and their ‘otherkin/gung-ho SJW/unique-snowflake made up gender names’ are I guess what’s cool now. But I’m becoming an old fogie so I am contractually obligated to say that what you kids are doing is dumb and I don’t like it because I don’t understand it. It’s a very Principal Skinner moment. “Have I lost touch with what’s cool? No…no, it’s the children who are wrong.” So if any of you tumblerina/ites are offended by this, then I’m sorry. Try looking at it again in a couple years and I’m sure you’ll…actually maybe not. No guarantees.
I don’t often laud my own work because one of my greatest fears is becoming egotistical, but I love that there’s a dude in the way back dressed up as a vending machine. He’s a vendorkin. In another life he was a Coke machine and still has dreams about dispensing icy beverages. He feels like he has ethereal soda selection buttons, so that proves it. It just cracks me up. And now that it exists on the internet, someone is now a vendorkin. Sorry about that.
I still have a book out! It’s right here!