This is the start of a miniseries that may pop up in Ninja and Pirate from time to time because I absolutely love old world mythology. It is unique, inventive, colorful, intriguing, and (most of all) absolutely friggin’ bonkers. So much of it makes no sense whatsoever and it cracks me up. For example, the Greeks came up with this: “Zeus seduced a priestess named Io. Hera caught them so to hide his infidelity, Zeus transformed Io into a heifer. Hera, seeing through Zeus’s trickery requested the cow as a gift. Zeus, apparently figuring what the hey, agreed and proceeded to probably lay back, eat grapes, and watch the game. Hera assigned Argos, her guard with 100 eyes all over his body, to watch the cow to make sure it was doing, you know, cow things. Hermes comes along and puts Argos to sleep, presumably by offering to read him a story and then cracking open the Microsoft Access user manual. Or The Simarillion or something. Whatever. Argos falls asleep with all of his eyes and Hermes sends Io on her merry old way. She was still a cow, of course because why not. Hera, seeing Argos asleep and Io gone, creates the gadfly to chase Io all the way down to Egypt, stinging her constantly.
This is the story of why gadflies like to sting cows. Some kid, with nothing better to do than bug the priests, asked why flies sting cows and got this Game of Thrones meets Sopranos meets David Lynchian fever dream for an explanation and THAT. IS. FUNNY.
So anyway, whenever I run out of ideas, I may turn to old world mythology for inspiration every now and again. Much like modern day video gaming! I’m looking at YOU “Too Human”.
I’ll see you guys Saturday!
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